The night's silence is pierced
by the sound of a woman howling at the moon
There are other sounds too:
rib-cracking
bone-breaking
mercy-begging
manic-laughing
sounds
It is chaotic
An anarchic situation
He pauses
Then curses,
Hits, kicks,
and spits too, for good measure
(Oh dear God, he's going to kill me)
Grunts, and leaves the house
A loud knock on the door -
(Oh no! He's back!)
She wipes her bloody face,
braves the pain in her body
and crawls to the door
Two men in uniforms,
Concern etched on their faces
(Thank heavens it's not him)
-Your neighbours complained, ma'am,
- Is everything alright?
She smiles, wincing at the effort
(Some tea, officers?)
- No ma'am, thank you ma'am
(I have some freshly baked cakes...)
-No ma'am, thank you ma'am
- Where is your husband ma'am?
A child wails -
(He hit mummy!)
She stares at them -
the smile is gone
(Everything is fine, officer -
it's a family affair).
by the sound of a woman howling at the moon
There are other sounds too:
rib-cracking
bone-breaking
mercy-begging
manic-laughing
sounds
It is chaotic
An anarchic situation
He pauses
Then curses,
Hits, kicks,
and spits too, for good measure
(Oh dear God, he's going to kill me)
Grunts, and leaves the house
A loud knock on the door -
(Oh no! He's back!)
She wipes her bloody face,
braves the pain in her body
and crawls to the door
Two men in uniforms,
Concern etched on their faces
(Thank heavens it's not him)
-Your neighbours complained, ma'am,
- Is everything alright?
She smiles, wincing at the effort
(Some tea, officers?)
- No ma'am, thank you ma'am
(I have some freshly baked cakes...)
-No ma'am, thank you ma'am
- Where is your husband ma'am?
A child wails -
(He hit mummy!)
She stares at them -
the smile is gone
(Everything is fine, officer -
it's a family affair).
©, N.L., 2005
11 comments:
Tragic and painful, yet it still goes on--everywhere.
I wish there were more programs to help these men who obviously in deep spiritual darkness! Then the woman wouldn't have to destroy her family to save her family.
nnhbb.blogspot.com
Oh... :(
@ Kenyan Girl: A lot goes on behind closed doors...
@ Anna Renee: What about the woman? Wouldn't she also be in need of such programs?
@ Mo: Oh?
Oh yes definitely! I certainly want us women to have programs! So often the woman still wants her husband! She keeps on loving him inspite of everything he does! The man needs to be brought back into some kind of mental wholeness, so he can stop brutalizing his family! The woman certainly needs help, but to ignore the man, means the woman has to run from him in order to save herself and her children! The woman has a very hard time doing this because she so much wants to keep her family intact. She'll allow herself to be brutalized for the family's sake! The man needs so much help to stop being a brute! To come to another way of dealing with his mental/spiritual problems so he can be a true man to his family and someone his wife can rely on instead of her having to hide his brutal ways and endure such brutality! I most certainly think that the woman needs help, and there should be help for these men--if they are not prideful and would accept it. Otherwise there seems to be no alternative, but the woman escapes with her children!!
Well sometimes, it's economical why the women stay with these brutal men as well. It's a very very hard problem--I don't mean to say I know all about dealing with it because I never had to deal with it.
Sad...
@ Anna:
Interesting....
I think sometimes people in abusive relationships (men and women...including grown-up children of abusive parents) don't get out of them because they are so used to 'wearing the cloak of victimhood' that that is the only way they know how to be. I personally don't agree with staying in an abusive relationship 'for the sake of the children' because I think in the long-term this will be more harmful to the kids than divorce or seperation, and might lead to the kid becoming abusive.
Am also not sure of the mental and spiritual help for the abuser, as you suggested: I feel that a person changes or becomes better only when he or she wants to, not because his or her loved ones have begged him/her and prayed for him/her to do so. But of course, relationships are complex and people can stay in harmful ones for a myriad of reasons.
At my church we have an anger management program for men who need help dealing with their emotions. Sometimes these men are forgotten because its very easy to disrespect and dislike men who are disrespectful and unlikeable. But they need help so that the madness can end and they can take their proper place in their families. I think that people respond to peer pressure. Men, men, men must put the pressure to bear on abusive men!! Men respect and listen to other men, and until men decide that they won't tolerate other men abusing their sisters, mothers, aunties, daughters, nieces, then the problem will remain.
Thank you sister for your very heartfelt and eye opening poems. Good poems ought to inform, provoke, excite, and create movement towards change, if needed. Thanks. Visit my other blog
black-folks.blogspot.com
@ Anna: I agree that men should take control and act against their violent, abusive 'brothers'. But the reality is that it is women who usually suffer all forms of violence under the hands of men, so it is the women as the wearer of this 'shoe' who know where it pinches most. My point is, if we as women sit and wait for men to speak for us, to fight for our rights, then we have a long wait ahead of us. From the societal/cultural lens,it is a control issue and men (generally speaking), would not be willing to quickly relinquish the power they enjoy in society.
Whatever the case, I do think that everything begins at home. So if parents taught their children - both boys and girls - not to tolerate violence, and that boys are not better than girls; if this kind of positive, humane thinking is instilled from childhood, then a lot would change in today's world. If women also made clear boundaries, so that men know that there will be consequences if certain lines are crossed, then definitely there will be changes. I think we women are too tolerant and silent sometimes.
Thanks for your comments and I'll be visiting your blog soon!
Women---the neck that turns the head! We have a lot of control, don't we sister? We just don't know it or don't know how to use it.
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